I am sorry for the lengthy post but I need advice:
So today I thought I'd begin the task of potty training Owen. We started at 6:00am (not our usual wake up time) with putting on his new dinosaur undies, and I'd ask him constantly if he needed to go potty, which 98% of the time he'd just sit on the potty so he could get his reward for "going": a couple pennies or a nickel; he's saving up for a cool Batman toy. So I did that every 20-30 minutes, just to get him used to the idea.
I continued that until about 11:20am with no accidents, thinking I had a potty trainer prodigy on my hands, when I came back into the room to find he had peed on the carpet. (He had just been sitting on the potty 5 or 10 minutes before with no luck.) I was so frustrated! So I made him give me back a penny and then I thought that maybe I should just try using training pants/pull-ups on him so I don't have to deal with these messes.
When we got our ex puppy in Michigan, we had to pay to have the carpets + pads replaced when we moved because of all his potty training accidents. We did clean each of them up after it happened, but the pad somehow did not clean up 100%. I'm obviously not wanting that to happen here.
So I was frustrated and just put some pull-ups on him because we were about to go run errands. I did ask him a couple times at the store if he needed to go and he said no. I don't think he went while we were gone but when we got back home I had just been feeling super overwhelmed with the whole ordeal so I just put a diaper on him. Also, he was exhausted at this point, (3:30pm), not having had a nap since 6:00am, and he was not in a good mood, nor cooperating. Needless to say, it's been a long and frustrating day.
Anyways, I just need some advice. Did you use just underwear, or pull-ups, or what?? What methods did you find to work well? I do realize that I gave up today really fast, but I'm just not sure if I'm even ready for this, although Owen will be 3 in just two months, and we do want to get him started sometime soon. Help!!
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15 comments:
Not that I know anything! But, what I've heard is you have to treat it like a brand new baby (where you don't go anywhere) so that you're always right by a bathroom. I don't look forward to potty training. My brother didn't ever want to learn. My grandma had to teach him and my sister. They just wouldn't do it for my mom. Good luck!
if you want, there is a book called potty training in less than a day. it may take a few more days, but i hear it works pretty well.
I wish I had advice for you. That was my exact problem. I heard people say that once you put them in regular underwear you shouldn't switch back because it confuses them, but it's so hard not to. Let me know how it goes!
I don't know anything about potty training, but I wondered if he has peed or pooped in the potty at all. Perhaps you can do pull ups until he actually does that and then reward when he goes, not just for sitting there. Other than that, I've got nothing. I would definitely get a book though. I have heard of some that do it in three days. Keep us updated!
HI Meredith, I'm Cynde's friend Carrie from Auburn in her ward (I met you when you guys came up a few weeks ago to go to the beach- the one with twins and a boy Owen's age). She said you needed some potty training advice and while I'm no expert by any means, I just recently potty trained my two year old boy. My theory is- don't use pull ups. My kids know they are just like diapers and that if they go in the pull ups, it does not affect them. If my kids have pullups on, they have no motivation to use the potty. With underwear, they get wet or messy with an accident and that is not pleasant for them, usually. My daughter hated to be wet or poopy in her undies, but my son wasn't as upset. It was a long first few days, for sure, with LOTS of accidents (both kinds). But I just let him run around in just underwear and I made him a yummy juice and I kept his cup full so he was constantly drinking something so that he would need to go every 15-20 minutes. I had the same thing happen to me that you did- he'd go hours with no accidents and then he just peed on the carpet randomly! Very frustrating, but then I realized that he was used to 2.5 years of diapers and that for 2.5 years he could just pee whenever and where ever and the diaper would catch everything, and he just wasn't used to having to go to a toilet when he needed to go. He was playing a game with us on the floor and all of a sudden the carpet and himself were soaking and he honestly did not even realize what was happening. It takes awhile for them to switch gears.
As for rewards, I didn't offer a reward until he actually did something in the potty. He didn't get a reward for just sitting on the potty. And maybe if you don't think the money is working, switch to his favorite candy or something. My son is OBSESSED with suckers, so I bought a big bag of dum dum suckers and that was extremely motivating to him. He'd try and just sit on the potty and then ask for a sucker, but I wouldn't give him one until he actually did his business. He would throw tantrums over it, but he finally realized he would only get suckers if he did something. And I would have him watch his older sister go potty and give her a sucker so he would realize that going potty is rewarding, and since you don't have an older child, you could show him or tell him that you get a treat (or money, or whatever) after you go potty. It might sound cruel that you get one and won't give him one, if he throws a fit, but it worked well for us.
Potty training is hard and frustrating, especially after you realize that it really is easier to change a diaper then it is to change wet/poopy clothes AND scrub the carpet, but it really does get easier, I promise. And after a week he was doing great, but then he regressed and I almost quit then, but then I realized that I got used to him doing so well that I forgot to keep reminding him to go potty. I'd say just stay home for a few days, do nothing but have him run around in his undies and give him lots to drink and encourage him to sit on the potty every 15-20 minutes and make a big deal about everything he does. And be consistent- I wouldn't switch back and forth between diapers and pullups and undies- that is going to be super confusing for him (except at night- my son has been trained now for 3 months but he still wears a diaper or pull up at night). Put down towels all over the house if you are worried about the carpet and pad being ruined.
Don't punish him for doing accidents in his undies the first few days- rather, I would just say to my son if he had an accident, "Yucky! Look- now you're undies are all wet! Spiderman is sad that he's all wet. We need to keep him dry. Peeing in our undies is yucky and no fun." And rather than asking him if he needs to go, just take him into the potty and tell him it's time to go potty and keep reminding him positively that if he goes he gets his super cool reward!
Good luck! You'll do great. It might be a rough few days, but he'll pick up on it if you're consistent. Accidents will happen- that doesn't mean he's not ready or that you're doing something wrong. It just takes practice for him to understand everything.
Owen's adorable, by the way. You have such a cute family. It was really nice to meet all of you a few weeks ago. Your Aunt Cynde is the BEST! My family just loves her.
i tried potty training brilynn in january and she just wasn't ready, it stressed her out and myself. i'm getting ready to start again here in a couple of weeks. i've had lots of advice and here are the two that i got the most so i'm trying to decide which way to go.
many people said you can use pull-ups and just do it one a timer...every 20-30 minutes taken them in and sit them on the toilet. have a potty chart and stickers and everytime they just sit on the toilet they get to put a sticker up and then when they actually go they get a treat or money or whatever works for your kiddo. everyone i talked to who tried it this way said it took about 5 days or so but there was no pee to clean up. :) which is why i like this method. it also seems WAY less stressful. but i don't know.
the other one is from dr. phils website...a number of moms in my ward have done it this way and said it worked really well for them. you use a baby that wets to show your kiddo what to do (which i think would be helpful with brilynn...not sure she really gets the whole concept ha ha). it's a REALLY simple method. i guess it's supposed to be really similar to the potty training your kid in less than a day method that your friend lynda mentioned. anyway, here is the website: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/264 - hope that helps. i haven't tried either one so i really don't know but that's the advice that i have been given. i hope something works for you! believe me, i know it's frustrating! hang in there!
I did the "cold turkey" method with Emmy. We went to underwear all the time except for night. I stayed home for almost a week and let her get the hang of it. He will have accidents but dont get mad at him. Give positive reinforcement when he goes in the potty. You can buy underwear that is padded so it does not get on the carpet. Stay strong and consistent whatever you do stick with it or else he will get confused. Good luck!
Well as you know I have never potty trained but I have heard of several ideas that might work. If he understands the concept of going in the toilet then these ideas might help. Buy a big reward that he REALLY wants and cover it up with lots of post it notes and then every time he goes potty in the toilet he gets to take a post-it off the toy and then when all the post-its are gone he gets the prize. Another idea is every time he goes potty in his pants make him change his own pants. That requires a lot of work on his part and hopefully he won't enjoy cleaning himself up so he will keep himself dry because he knows what he will have to do. Don't get mad or take anything away just say, "Oops! You went potty in your pants go change them! You may need to supervise this and show him what he needs to do. I've just heard of these ideas, so don't take my word for it. You know your little guy and what he is capable of. My last piece of advice is what ever method you choose you must STICK TO YOUR GUNS! He will learn be patient and if he's not ready don't push it. It's a really traumatizing experience if they aren't ready. I love you Mer! You are amazing don't give up!
Oh Mer... I am right there with you. I bought everything I need for potty training today. Easton has seemed interested the last couple days. Loving this little potty time book we have. He has seen his big boy underwear and been excited. Even asked to wear them... but I haven't let him yet. I will do that when I start. We were all excited early today so we got out the new potty and he was so happy about it. But once we tried to get him to sit on it... he wasn't interested in it at all. He was seriously not going there and it was a battle of wills. So, I'm guessing he is not ready after all and think I'll wait a little longer. I'm gonna keep on reading his potty book, and watching Bear In The Big Blue House (Potty Time). It's an old cartoon. Dallon loved it when he potty trained. We found it on Youtube today and Easton liked it. I'm just gonna try to get him pumped up for a few weeks or months.
My advice is this... be consistent. Pick big boy underwear or pull ups and do it all the time. I always do the big boy underwear. I'm all or nothing with the potty thing. I use the training pants underwear that are just a little thicker. I think they love the feel of underwear and think they are cool too. My personal opinion is that if you use pull ups they know that they can wet their pants and not get wet... that it's like a diaper. So, I think that they can see the consequences of peeing their pants with underwear and they don't like it. I don't use pull ups for trips to store, visit teaching, or anything else I may need to do. But I do think I did a diaper for the first week at night. And really cut back on sippy cups the last few hours before bed. Reward with candy and stickers... I also do a chart where we put small stickers to keep track of success and he can earn a toy. Only give treat or sticker when they go in the potty. Cheer for them every time! Go crazy cheering, clapping, etc. Stay home lots the first few days. To make it easier on you and owen. Always be positive. Much easier said than done. I know. There will be times when you want to pull your hair out. Why do you think mine is so thin? When he has an accident (which will happen probably lots) tell him it's ok... he'll make it to the potty next time.
If you think the money thing is not working then maybe he is just to young to be excited about saving. It takes so many penny's and nickels to save for a toy. And he probably doesn't understand money and how much it takes to earn a toy. So I'd go with stickers and candy. I use dum dum suckers, hershey kisses, etc. Things that are small treats (since they will be getting tons a day) but that are wrapped and I can put them in a glass jar to tempt and encourage him.
This is just my two cents. It's hard. I remember fighting Dallon thru it for a month at 26 months old. He'd pee on the carpet all the time and it was a real struggle. I gave up and didn't try again until 3. It was a breeze and we had it done in a week. Dawson was ready at 24 months and we had it done in a week. So, I really believe in doing it when they are ready. That is why I when I saw us trying so so hard to convince Easton today and him being head strong and not willing to even get on the potty - I'm just not going there yet. Good luck, sis!
Awesome advice already...not sure if my two cents will make a difference...But after training 2 boys, I learned one big thing: wait until they're GOOD and ready. With Spencer, he started showing "signs" at 2, so we worked on potty training for SIX MONTHS until he really had it down!! With Mikey, he was a little over 3, and he flat out said he was done with diapers one day, so we did the switch and in 2 days he was all dry!! HUGE difference! I thought Spencer was ready since he was showing "signs" that they tell you in books, but when it came to actually going in the toilet, he didn't really want to (like Jaimie was saying Easton was doing), so we really battled it out for 6 months!! Also, I was never up for staying home for a week, and maybe if I did Spencer would've gotten the hang of things quicker. But I really liked our experience with Mikey much better, so my advice to you would be to make sure that Owen is really, REALLY ready. Having said that, I think training the first child is always hardest since they don't have an older sibling to look up to in that arena...Good luck, and keep us posted!! Love you!
I see there are lots of comments and maybe you already got the advice you needed. I did use pull-ups with Peyton. I told him they are just like big boy undies and not to go in them...didn't always work but he eventually got the idea. I have seen some that feel cold when they go, but I never used them... maybe they'd be better to let them know they aren't diapers. Peeing was easy training for us. Every time he went I gave him 2 m&ms and a sticker. He loves chocolate so that worked great! As for pooping in the potty, we just got that one down, and he has been peeing in the potty for a year! Part of our trouble there was constipation after we got that problem fixed the potty training became a lot easier. Every time he poops in the potty he gets a sticker on his chart and a prize from the prize box, that is filled with dollar store toys and goodies. When the chart is all filled there is a super prize! That makes it fun for him. My doctor gave me the chart and it works great. I tried all kinds of things that people told us to do, that is what worked for us. I think every child is probably different, so try until you find what works for him. Good luck!
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